In Memory of Mark Darger, 1959-2008

On Thursday, May 1, a little after six A.M., my phone rang. When your phone rings at six A.M. it is rarely good news! My wife, Sandi, was in Sioux Falls, staying at her sister’s house. She called to say that Mark, our brother-in-law, had passed away, unexpectedly, in his sleep overnight.

To say that the four of us were close would fall into the category of understatement. When someone close to you dies, many thoughts come to your mind. My mental process is probably a bit more unusual than that of most folks, but indeed, many thoughts did go through my mind. I’d like to share a few of those thoughts with you.

I thought right away of the TV show, "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" (like I said, "a bit more unusual than most"). If you haven’t seen it, it is a reality show where they pick out a deserving family in a particular community, and send the family away on vacation for a week. While the family is gone, the Extreme Makeover team rebuilds their home, sometimes from the ground, up. When the family returns, the home they come back to is not the home that they left. It is a new home, a perfect home. Often, it has been designed with features that are custom made for the family members who will occupy it. It is a home more grand than they ever thought in their wildest dreams and fantasies that they would ever occupy. And I thought about Mark, checking out his new home, with the same sense of awe and wonder that we see the Extreme Makeover families experiencing.

Then I thought about this passage of scripture:

"But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."
(Ephesians 2:4-9 NLT)

This passage so clearly tells us there is nothing that we can do to earn our salvation. It is always, only, a gift to us from the grace and the loving heart of God, as a result of the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. Mark made some mistakes in his life. So have I. So have you. This passage tells us that our lives will stand testimony to future ages, not of what we have done for God, but what He, in His "incredible wealth of grace" has done for us. Mark’s life was a testimony, not to good works, but to the grace of our Heavenly Father. If we think about it, that is true of you and I, and all of us.

I first began to follow the Lord when I was twelve years old. When I first met Mark, it was during that time that I had lost my way. At the time we met, I rather suspected that Mark had lost his way too. We were dating two sisters who were very close. We both loved our motorcycles, and we all did a lot of riding together. At the time, I always felt close to God when I was riding my motorcycle. I think that Mark did too. In time, we married the sisters and settled down. Over the next fifteen years, before Sandi and I retired and hit the road, the four of us were virtually inseparable.

When the time came that we would once again become a part of the Body of Believers, Mark was right there with us, joining the church, and going through the new member classes. I remember as we sat in the pew each Sunday, Mark sat there attentively and respectfully. I don’t recall that he got as involved in the singing as I did, but that’s OK, as I also recall that he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket anyway.

He was always respectful and supportive of the pastors, and never was a participant in "having the preacher for lunch after church" syndrome. In fact, my last and fondest memory of him took place a few Sundays before he died. We had been visiting a small church with some friends. After the service was over, one of our friends brought the pastor over and introduced him to us. Mark was quick to offer a word of encouragement to him. I know that an encouraging word is always invaluable to those in ministry. It wasn’t God’s plan that Mark write the book, or teach Bible classes, like I do, but I would never underestimate how much he did by just showing up.

And then I thought about how, at the end of each Extreme Makeover show, Ty gathers the family around him, and he says: "well, I guess that there is only one thing left to say. Welcome home [Smith] family, welcome home!"

And then I thought about the song, "Wish You Were Here", which I dare not quote here, for fear of copyright infringement, but it reminded me that Mark, who could scarcely climb the steps at his home a few weeks ago, was now able to run foot races with angels. And the guy who couldn’t carry a tune was now singing "Shout to the Lord" in perfect harmony. And I could just picture him walking around the streets of Heaven, making friends with everyone he meets, just like he did here.

And so I guess that there is just one thing left to say: "Welcome home Mark, welcome Home!"